Coping with grief

[dgm6769]

Some of youi may know my wife was suffering from pancreatic cancer plus secondary cancer.
My world shattered 3 weeks ago when she passed in my arms in our own bed very quickly, peacefully and pain free.
Devastated, heartbroken come no where near how I feel after losing my soul mate of 31 years , only her loving words on how I should live my life after she passed and how she wanted me to live my life keep me going through the struggle of everything at the moment .
Life can be so ****ing cruel, sick and just evil at times to take someone who so many people loved, a woman who went out her way to make other folks lives better became a mental health worker after years of caring for the elderly because she had that thing that within 5 minutes of meeting her it was though you'd known her for years and could always raise the spirits of anyone meeting her ,she kept her smile and cheerfulness till her last breath .
And she was a huge Wolves fan who probably watched more football then i did I'd sulk when we were playing bad or behind and wanted to switch over but not her even 2 nil down in the 88 minute she had belief we could snatch a point.

 

[SuperGran]

Oh so sorry to hear this puts life into perspective stay strong and take one day at a time.

 

[Thank you Sir Jack]

So sad to hear your terrible news. Women can be so strong and yet so gentle and caring for others. You obviously loved, respected and admired your dear wife. Remember her strength and kindness.

 

[Evthewolf]

Meaningful words are very difficult to find at times like this but my thoughts are with you.

 

[Mutchy]

This was posted in the OT forum, where strictly speaking it belongs, but I’ve moved it because I think this is one of those times when the forum will come together and show the best of itself.
Sincere condolences to you @dgm6769.

 

[TF2Wolf]

Thoughts and prayers with you @dgm6769

 

[Cornwall Wolf]

My condolences.. life is hard and the Big C is S..t ..stay strong but it's not easy

 

[Ercall Wolves]

So sorry and condolences for your loss.
Thoughts and prayers to you and all her family and friends at this sad time

 

[Rhoswolf]

Some of youi may know my wife was suffering from pancreatic cancer plus secondary cancer.
My world shattered 3 weeks ago when she passed in my arms in our own bed very quickly, peacefully and pain free.
Devastated, heartbroken come no where near how I feel after losing my soul mate of 31 years , only her loving words on how I should live my life after she passed and how she wanted me to live my life keep me going through the struggle of everything at the moment .
Life can be so ****ing cruel, sick and just evil at times to take someone who so many people loved, a woman who went out her way to make other folks lives better became a mental health worker after years of caring for the elderly because she had that thing that within 5 minutes of meeting her it was though you'd known her for years and could always raise the spirits of anyone meeting her ,she kept her smile and cheerfulness till her last breath .
And she was a huge Wolves fan who probably watched more football then i did I'd sulk when we were playing bad or behind and wanted to switch over but not her even 2 nil down in the 88 minute she had belief we could snatch a point.

Devastated for you friend, there are no words at a time like this, life can be so cruel thinking of you.

 

[chignalwolf]

Some of youi may know my wife was suffering from pancreatic cancer plus secondary cancer.
My world shattered 3 weeks ago when she passed in my arms in our own bed very quickly, peacefully and pain free.
Devastated, heartbroken come no where near how I feel after losing my soul mate of 31 years , only her loving words on how I should live my life after she passed and how she wanted me to live my life keep me going through the struggle of everything at the moment .
Life can be so ****ing cruel, sick and just evil at times to take someone who so many people loved, a woman who went out her way to make other folks lives better became a mental health worker after years of caring for the elderly because she had that thing that within 5 minutes of meeting her it was though you'd known her for years and could always raise the spirits of anyone meeting her ,she kept her smile and cheerfulness till her last breath .
And she was a huge Wolves fan who probably watched more football then i did I'd sulk when we were playing bad or behind and wanted to switch over but not her even 2 nil down in the 88 minute she had belief we could snatch a point.

thank you for sharing this with us dgm6769 not easy to do, no words can ease your pain but god bless you and your family and our thoughts and prayers with you.

 

[Pagey]

Thoughts are with you, stay strong.

 

[JadeWolf]

So sorry for your loss @dgm6769.

Your wife sounds like an incredible woman. Just think of all the lives she made better, including your own. She’s left an incredible legacy behind, that will never fade, so keep her memory in your heart x

 

[Wonder Boyo]

Some of youi may know my wife was suffering from pancreatic cancer plus secondary cancer.
My world shattered 3 weeks ago when she passed in my arms in our own bed very quickly, peacefully and pain free.
Devastated, heartbroken come no where near how I feel after losing my soul mate of 31 years , only her loving words on how I should live my life after she passed and how she wanted me to live my life keep me going through the struggle of everything at the moment .
Life can be so ****ing cruel, sick and just evil at times to take someone who so many people loved, a woman who went out her way to make other folks lives better became a mental health worker after years of caring for the elderly because she had that thing that within 5 minutes of meeting her it was though you'd known her for years and could always raise the spirits of anyone meeting her ,she kept her smile and cheerfulness till her last breath .
And she was a huge Wolves fan who probably watched more football then i did I'd sulk when we were playing bad or behind and wanted to switch over but not her even 2 nil down in the 88 minute she had belief we could snatch a point.

That sounds so painful for you. I'm pleased you were able share it with us though. There's nothing we can do to ease the pain of losing a fantastic woman and the love of your life. However, we can stand with you and wish you all the love in the world. Hopefully you don't feel alone in this. Much love to you.

 

[Woolywolf]

There are no words. Life can be so cruel and there is no more painful emotion than heart break and grief. Your wife sounded an amazing person and has been taken before her time. You must cherish her words and I’m sure you take immense strength from them. One day at a time and fill your thoughts with the wonderful times you’ve shared. Sincerest regards and best wishes from one of your Wolves family

 

[Wolf316]

Cannot begin to imagine what you’re going through my thoughts are with you.

 

[Darvo]

That is awful news to hear. My heart goes out to you.

 

[tamwolf]

Sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

 

[OLDGOLD]

So sorry to hear this news. It can be a cruel old world. Best wishes to you.

 

[De Wolfs Mullet]

My thoughts are with you. Your wife sounds like she was a fantastic lady. Cherish the wonderful memories of her.

My wife died from cancer last year and its been a tough year for my daughter and me. I've come out the other side of the doldrums now, but do what feels right for you.

 

[Tojo the grass]

Best wishes

 

[Rhyl Wolf]

Cancer is so cruel and my heart goes out to you. Just hold to those memories of your good lady. It will give you strength.

 

[WKFWolf]

Sorry to hear of your loss, dms are always open if you need to talk to someone

 

[reanswolf]

So sorry buddy, you will in time learn to think of her without pain, but it takes time when you lose someone so close.

Thoughts are with you my friend.

 

[Frank Lincoln]

So very sorry to hear this. Sincere condolences to you and your family.

 

[Gromit]

So sad for you. Condolences and praying for your future.

 

[dgm6769]

Thank you all.
I've looked on the mix a few times since but it felt too raw to post it or thought it had nothing to do with a football forum but after having to deal with a lot of paperwork, on online forms and arrangements sorted. A weeks delay on doing anything at all because our useless gp left the form on his desk Monday to Friday and only my persistent calls to them he actually sent it on the following Monday so I could finally get a death certificate to start arrangements.
A calm has appeared with the help of family and friends of course but most of all from work, we both work for the same mental health place and they have been unbelievable, from the managers both are incredible humans to just popping in and sitting with work mates and residents for an hour taking my mind off everything else but also this site when just mopping around the house I'll catch up with a cuppa because unlike 99% of things that i now have no interest in what so ever like tv somehow reading up about this club of ours still holds it ( I broke when watching Neves vid and I don't mind admitting it).
Thank you all again and Mutchy for moving it .

 

[giantwolf]

So sorry for your loss @dgm6769. Sincere condolences and stay strong

 

[Bacon Sandwich]

Hi mate – I want to say just one thing to you. Be gentle with yourself. You’ve no doubt heard of the classic five stages of grief: denial – anger – bargaining – depression – acceptance.

In my experience they’re not five stages. They overlap: the flow in an out like the tide. You think you’re done with anger and bam! Suddenly it’s back.

So take care of yourself. Try not to get too down if one day the tide floods back in – because it will. Don’t tell yourself ‘I should be through this stage’ – because there’s no rhyme or reason to it.

I don’t live anywhere near WV1: but plenty of people on this forum do. There isn’t a single one of them that’ll say ‘no’ if you want to meet up for a pint, a chat or a just a bloody good rant.

 

[SingYourHeartsOut]

Deepest condolences, such a cruel way to go but I'm sure you were a great comfort to her. When it's over there's such a void. She was obviously thinking of your future without her and I hope you can rebuild your life, although no doubt that hole will never go.

 

[dgm6769]

Hi mate – I want to say just one thing to you. Be gentle with yourself. You’ve no doubt heard of the classic five stages of grief: denial – anger – bargaining – depression – acceptance.

In my experience they’re not five stages. They overlap: the flow in an out like the tide. You think you’re done with anger and bam! Suddenly it’s back.

So take care of yourself. Try not to get too down if one day the tide floods back in – because it will. Don’t tell yourself ‘I should be through this stage’ – because there’s no rhyme or reason to it.

I don’t live anywhere near WV1: but plenty of people on this forum do. There isn’t a single one of them that’ll say ‘no’ if you want to meet up for a pint, a chat or a just a bloody good rant.

That is exactly how it feels my friend, a wave, each one a different emotion overlapping the constant sadness.
She only turned 54 in April and I'd never known her ill with even flu in almost 31 years.
I keep being told just try and remember the good times and I can honestly say that there were never any bad times even when there were problems around us it never changed us for a second, forcing those memories to the front is what hurts at the moment.
Thank you.

 

[JohnB]

Thoughts with you.

I hope in time you’ll come to love the time you’ve had together. I’m sure your wife said move forward but it will be day by day.

Reach out to us if you need (just ignore some of our responses). Let’s do her proud next season.

Keep going.

 

[S G Wolves]

Stay strong my friend. The Wolves family are with you.

 

[Jonzy54]

So sad to read this .I know what it’s like to deal with Cancer affecting a partner ‘Why me’ I hear you say ? Thankfully my wife recovered but sadly I realise that is not always the case
My thoughts are with you .Be strong and all the best x

 

[Scallywolf]

Words are never enough at times like this.

Just want to say that you and your family are in our thoughts.

 

[Bacon Sandwich]

That is exactly how it feels my friend, a wave, each one a different emotion overlapping the constant sadness.
She only turned 54 in April and I'd never known her ill with even flu in almost 31 years.
I keep being told just try and remember the good times and I can honestly say that there were never any bad times even when there were problems around us it never changed us for a second, forcing those memories to the front is what hurts at the moment.
Thank you.

My mum died in 2005. If anyone can have a ‘good death’ she had one. We said everything to each other we wanted to say, and when the end came it was relatively quick. But bloody hell, I was angry. All these unemployed layabouts. Petty bloody criminals. Wasters. They were alive and my mum was dead.

How could that possibly be right?

You’ll be having exactly those thoughts. Don’t think they’re wrong. They’re not, they’re natural. So don’t feel guilty.

I can only offer you what every other person on the forum will offer: condolences and – I think blokes can say it to each other now – love.

As I say, take good care of yourself.

 

[Tring Wolf]

My sincerest condolences to you and your whole family. I hope that in time, you are able to find comfort in the many happy memories that you and your partner will have created together.

The whole MM and Wolves family are with you.

 

[HICKO]

So sorry to read this. I saw your post on the fourth of April and have had your dear wife in my thoughts and prayers since.
She must have been very special to you and so many others reading your words. God Bless her and May she Rest in Peace. +

 

[DanishWolf]

So sorry about your loss.
Don't have any clever words to add, just my sincere condolences
I'm all the way in Dennark and was very moved by your post.
Wish you strenght to go through this

 

[JTWolf]

Sorry for your loss

 

[paxrax]

extremely tough and also extremely hard to get over i'd imagine.

i have lost both of my parents and a brother, all were tough.

those are my only major experiences of grief.

the only thing they had in common was that the only thing that made them easier was the passing of time.

my mother died 20 odd years ago, the first few weeks were hard to deal with, after that it just got a little easier day by day, i rarely think about her too much now though i will never forget her. i was lucky to have a new girlfriend at the time who i married and am still happily married to, she was the one that got me through it mainly.

i dont remember the first couple of weeks after she passed, i was constantly ****ed, maybe thats what it took for me to cover the pain enough to make it bearable?

you will find your own way but that will be individual to you, just give it time.

i feel your pain buddy, just dont lose hope xxx