Separation and Child Care advice

[Hereford Wolf]

I'll keep it simple.
My step-son's wife decided to end their marriage a few weeks ago (No reason). He has moved in with us for the moment.
They have a girl aged 8 (his wife's from a previous relationship) and a boy age 5 which is theirs.
Things were amicable to begin with but she has decided to play silly buggers using the boy as a weapon.
She has told my step-son he cannot see his son unless his 5 year old son decides that's what he wants to do.
God knows what she is saying to him, but there is nothing we can do about that. He has always loved staying here and he has his own room and lots of things to do.

Why she thinks she can dictate these terms I don't know.

Anybody clear on what the law is in these matters and what we should do next. Have you any copy's of any letters or correspondence you have sent if you have been in these circumstances that we could use?

Thanks a lot

 

[topcat99]

I only know a little about this from being a “manager” in the Military

But I will say, get a good solicitor with correct background.
Do it ASAP because she might promise all sorts face to face then change her mind later. Her behaviour is clearly unreasonable and can be shown as such in court (if required).

Sometimes you just can’t reason with people.

Out of interest, how did she treat her daughters father when they broke up? Similar pattern?

Edit: I don’t think the child can pick and choose living arrangement and visiting etc until they are 12

 

[dingle01902]

You will need to try mediation first before court will entertain, unless in exceptional circumstances, so get that ball rolling first. It shows YOU are attempting to do things reasonably first and you will need the mediators sign off that it has failed to go to court. Whilst you're doing this find a good solicitor. Prepare evidence, keep a diary of contact, texts, phone calls etc. If you took kids to clubs etc, try and get references from people as to the relationship with the kids.

Get as much positive stuff as possible to demonstrate the pre separation relationship you had and REMAIN CHILD FOCUSSED.

 

[Netherton Wolf]

As others have said, wether by mediation and or solicitors/courts, try to get something written/set out asap, could be 1 night in the week plus every other weekend, or every Sunday & 1 day in week etc unfortunately in my experience if she is using the son - as many women do - just dont give up, & depending on what shes like she may be glad of a babysitter!!! If not too personal does the 8yr old see her father??

 

[Hereford Wolf]

As others have said, wether by mediation and or solicitors/courts, try to get something written/set out asap, could be 1 night in the week plus every other weekend, or every Sunday & 1 day in week etc unfortunately in my experience if she is using the son - as many women do - just dont give up, & depending on what shes like she may be glad of a babysitter!!! If not too personal does the 8yr old see her father??

Hi Netherton
No - 8 year old does not see her Father and he has never paid any maintenance.
Another difficulty is that the 8 year old is quite manipulative and a serial liar. That makes my step son very wary about looking after her as she could very easily accuse him of anything (and it wouldn't surprise us if she did).
His son is a totally different character and is lovely.