Football transfer rumours: Gylfi Sigurðsson to Manchester United?

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<div class="track"><img alt="" src="http://hits.guardian.co.uk/b/ss/guardiangu-feeds/1/H.24.1.1/59464?ns=guardian&pageName=Football+transfer+rumours%3A+Gylfi+Sigur*sson+to+Manchester+United%3F%3AArticle%3A1734874&ch=Football&c3=GU.co.uk&c4=Football%2CSport&c5=&c6=Rob+Smyth&c7=12-Apr-23&c8=1734874&c9=Article&c10=Feature&c11=Football&c13=Rumour+Mill+%28series%29&c25=&c30=content&c42=Sport&h2=GU%2FSport%2FFootball%2F" width="1" height="1" /></div><p class="standfirst">Today's piffle killed its television</p><p>There are a few people in the world who are loved by everybody. Ryan Gosling. Raymond. And Gylfi. Everybody loves Gylfi. In the Guardian offices he has provoked <strong>at least two slavering man-crushes</strong> with his performances on loan at Swansea, and the Mill loves him so much that we always go to trouble of putting <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eth" title="">the eth</a> instead of 'd' in the name Sigurðsson when normally we wouldn't bother with those silly foreign accents. When Haddaway and Howard Jones asked "What Is Love?" they already knew the answer; it's <strong>cutting and pasting an eth</strong> from Google when writing about Gylfi Sigurðsson.</p><p></p><p><strong>Other people love Gylfi, too</strong>. Sir Alex Ferguson, Kenny Dalglish and Alan Pardew for starters; all three are considering paying Hoffenheim 10 sizeable ones to secure his services. Hoffenheim are Sigurðsson's parent club, an increasingly ubiquitous phrase that makes us slightly queasy for reasons we can't explain.</p><p></p><p><strong>Ferguson is also after a new left-back</strong> now that Patrice Evra has forgotten what he's supposed to do with that spherical thing at his feet. <strong>Valencia's Jordi Alba</strong> is the chosen one. Or would be, if he wasn't set to join Barcelona. <strong>Unless they sign Gareth Bale</strong>. Which they won't because they refuse to pay more than £16.5m, which is about half the going rate for bionic men.</p><p></p><p>No attempt to turn water into wine is complete without a man called Moses, so it makes sense that <strong>Martin O'Neill wants Wigan's excellent Victor Moses</strong> to help him with his Sunderland miracle. Actually, it was Jesus that did the wine thing, wasn't it? Moses just messed about with the River Nile. Anyway, O'Neill's intense peepers are also fixed on Wolves centre-forward Steven Fletcher.</p><p></p><p>When he's not <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2010/sep/07/carlo-ancelotti-autobiography-winning-eating" title="">gawping at his fadass in a mirror</a>, Carlo Ancelotti is daydreaming about the prospect of uniting the barn door twins, <strong>Luis Suárez and Edin Dzeko, at Paris Saint-Germain</strong>.</p><p></p><p>Any more grist? Public footballer <strong>Danny Murphy</strong> expects to sign a new contract at Fulham; <strong>Anzhi Mochachocolate</strong> want Raul Meireles; Shakhtar Donetsk's Will.i.an is going to Chelsea, again. That's it.</p><p></p><p>You're still here? It's over. Go home.</p><p></p><p><strong>Go.</strong></p><div class="author"><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/robsmyth">Rob Smyth</a></div><br/><div class="terms"><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk">guardian.co.uk</a> &copy; 2012 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our <a href="http://users.guardian.co.uk/help/article/0,,933909,00.html">Terms & Conditions</a> | <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/help/feeds">More Feeds</a></div><p style="clear:both" />
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