Football transfer rumours: Chelsea to sign Igor Akinfeev? | Ian McCourt

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<div class="track"><img alt="" src="http://hits.guardian.co.uk/b/ss/guardiangu-feeds/1/H.22.4/85815?ns=guardian&pageName=Football+transfer+rumours%3A+Steve+Bruce+to+save+Wolverhampton+Wanderers%3AArticle%3A1704628&ch=Football&c3=GU.co.uk&c4=Wolverhampton+Wanderers+%28Football%29%2CLiverpool+FC+%28Football%29%2CFootball%2CSport&c5=Europa+League&c6=Ian+McCourt&c7=12-Feb-16&c8=1704628&c9=Article&c10=Feature&c11=Football&c13=Rumour+Mill+%28series%29&c25=&c30=content&c51=MVT+group+&h2=GU%2FFootball%2FWolverhampton+Wanderers" width="1" height="1" /></div><p class="standfirst">Today's guff just realised there is a 6 o'clock in the morning</p><p>Unemployment rates may have hit a 16 year high but <strong>you cannot accuse football clubs of not doing their bit</strong> to help the economy. Take Wolverhampton Wanderers for instance. Recently, a job has opened up there and the chairman, Steve Morgan, has done his national duty and interrupted his skiing holiday in the Alps to fill that position and restore order to Britain. Alan, 54, has been the favourite up to now but he is not the only one. Neil, 63, and recently unemployed would like the job but he would also like some long-term security (wouldn't we all?) and so may head in the direction of Leeds or Huddersfield instead. While, Steve, 51, has <strong>a "survival dossier"</strong> which he thinks can save the club from itself or, eh, relegation. What exactly is contained within the "survival dossier" is anyone's guess but the Mill reckons buying <strong>paying over the odds for a job lot of duff players</strong> and ignoring technology will almost certainly be part of it.</p><p>Liverpool fans around the world can breathe a sigh of relief.<strong> No, no, Stewart Downing is not going to retire</strong>. Better than that. Yes, really. Sun columnist Rod Liddle has offered to take Andy Carroll of your hands. Says Liddle: "Hell, I might pay you £35 for Andy to come and help around the house, vacuum the lounge and clean out the hamster's cage." The Mill did its best to get in touch with<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjpIGmOvDj4" title=""><strong> former house-mate and sometime chicken impersonator</strong></a>, Kevin Nolan, to confirm our suspicion that Carroll's cleaning skill are indeed better than his footballing ones but our calls were not returned. Also leaving Anfield is Fábio Aurélio, who will not be offered a new contract when his current one expires at the end of the season. The full-back is expected to return to Brazil.</p><p>Over at Stamford Bridge, it is not just the manager there are doubts over, it is the goalkeeper too. To solve the problem John Terry will be <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdOq6cBU_O0" title="">reclaiming his position between the sticks</a> and <strong>if that does not work</strong>, they will just splash out on CSKA Moscow and Russia's No1, Igor Akinfeev.</p><p>Despite not having to pay Louis Saha's medical bills anymore, Everton are still broker than Greece. But <strong>that does not stop David Moyes from looking</strong> and right now, like a cold and starved street urchin rubbing his nose against window of the more prosperous households, he is looking at the Espanyol defender, Héctor Moreno. Moyes ain't the only one looking at the Mexican though, so too are Real Madrid. Expect the defender to be wearing white within a matter of minutes.</p><p>When Tottenham's Danny Rose scored <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXTLHkNMxRY" title="">that volley</a> against Arsenal on his league debut he should have just walked off the pitch, showered, gone home, picked a nice sunny spot in southern Spain to live in, taken up the orange business and forgot all about football.<strong> </strong>The Mill knew it would never get any better than that, <strong>all we needed was the proof</strong> and now we have it. The Birmingham manager, Chris Hughton, wants the midfielder on loan. In other Spurs related news, ankle knack and a new operation are going to keep Tom Huddlestone out for the rest of the season.</p><p>And finally, as Arsenal fans wave their hankies and wipe away a tear as Thierry Henry returns to the US, <strong>they can at least take comfort</strong> in the fact that another Arsenal legend will soon be returning to these shores. After just over a year and a half in Japan, Freddie Ljungberg is sick of sushi and sick of Shimizu S-Pulse. He spends his night hugging his pillow and pining for burgers, pies, mushy peas and the Greatest League that the World has Ever Known. "He wants to play in a club batting for league titles," says his agent, ruling out any chance of a return to north London, unless of course Spurs are interested.</p><div class="related" style="float: left; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"><ul><li><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/wolves">Wolverhampton Wanderers</a></li><li><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/liverpool">Liverpool</a></li></ul></div><div class="author"><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/ian-mccourt">Ian McCourt</a></div><br/><div class="terms"><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk">guardian.co.uk</a> &copy; 2012 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. 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