Football Films Are Crap

[Andy]

I thought SOA was absolutely ****e.

Football bits were good though.

 

[JadeWolf]

Renford Rejects

 

[Deleted member 5910]

Interviewer: what would your father say if he could see you now? Bassett: He'd probably quote Kipling or something, 'Walk with kings and all that' You see, he was like a father figure to me

Mike: And ****ing pay attention you ****, when I'm ****ing talking to you! If you don't wanna wear the shirt, ****ing take it off! There's thousands of kids out there who'd die to put that ****ing shirt on. Get back on the ****ing field, show those *******s what you can ****ing do, or you can **** off home on the ****ing plane! You got that?

Interviewer: England lose 4-0.

 

[CzechWolf]

'Next Goal Wins' is a fantastic football film. Follows the American Samoa national team (lowest ranked in world football at the time).

Absolutely brilliant.

 

[glorybox]

If we're talking football tv shows anyone remember Playing The Field about a ladies team. Don't really remember much of the stories lines but for a teenage boy there was plenty of nudity in it.

On a more serious note the quite recent Rovers written by Craig Cash I thought was great doesn't look like they're doing a second.

We all secretly enjoy playing the field...

 

[steve vena]

Not a film but a kids TV series called striker.
Ben dyker was the talented kid. BBC one I think .
The manageress was good too. Cheri lungi of course

 

[quirky_birky]

Gregory's Girl. Sort of football-related. Clare Grogan.

If Kes (and the magnificent Brian Glover) counts, then so must Gregory's Girl (and the lovely Clare Grogan!).

 

[quirky_birky]

For the Jossy's Giants fans out there:
More than just a branch of science: the non-ironic 1980s joy of Jossy's Giants

I can vaguely remember a Question of Sport episode featuring Bryan Robson and David Coleman.

 

[Deleted member 4453]

When Saturday Comes I like too. Think it tries to toe the line between football and drama and maybe falls a little more on the side of the latter. Think it captures an essence though, which I think most of these films do.
That's the main thing, yet I think they all mostly go over non footie fans heads at the same time.

 

[Norman Bell]

Not a film but a kids TV series called striker.
Ben dyker was the talented kid. BBC one I think .
The manageress was good too. Cheri lungi of course

I remember Striker from about 1977 I think. The main character's father was a player who had his career ended by injury and tried to prevent his son from playing obviously to no avail. What I can recall about it as well it was set in Yorkshire with that marvellous old actor who voiced the Hovis adverts and was the long suffering Wally Batty in Last of the summer wine had a big part in it !

 

[Forza Wolves]

Anyone seen The Van? Irish film that has Italia 90 as the backdrop to some scenes, decent film

 

[Liskeard wolf]

If Kes (and the magnificent Brian Glover) counts, then so must Gregory's Girl (and the lovely Clare Grogan!).

The school football match in 'Kes' was incredible. Just how I remember P.E lessons in the 70's. Brought a tear to my eye.

 

[Norman Bell]

Gregory's Girl should count. The part where Dee Hepburn is taking shots at Gregory who is wearing his yellow Scotland goalkeeping top and showing as much aptitude at stopping shots as the actual Scotland wearers of that jersey at the time such as Stewart Kennedy and Alan Rough is superb.

Brain Glover's PE teacher in Kes is for me the best part of the film. We had a right muppet of PE teacher at my Comprehensive who could have been a clone of that character.

The World Cup documentaries are very good. I enjoyed the 1982 film G'ole ! Excellent music from Rick Wakeman and narrated by Sean Connery. A cracking line in that is when prior to Brasil v Italy Connery says " Tonight is a clash between the nation who are probably the best in the world versus a nation who's fans think they are the best in the world ! "

The Damned United is very good. Michael Sheen is bang on as Cloughie. Timothy Spall is also very good as Peter Taylor trying to reign Clough in before he got totally out of control at Derby.

 

[steve vena]

Gregory's Girl should count. The part where Dee Hepburn is taking shots at Gregory who is wearing his yellow Scotland goalkeeping top and showing as much aptitude at stopping shots as the actual Scotland wearers of that jersey at the time such as Stewart Kennedy and Alan Rough is superb.

Brain Glover's PE teacher in Kes is for me the best part of the film. We had a right muppet of PE teacher at my Comprehensive who could have been a clone of that character.

The World Cup documentaries are very good. I enjoyed the 1982 film G'ole ! Excellent music from Rick Wakeman and narrated by Sean Connery. A cracking line in that is when prior to Brasil v Italy Connery says " Tonight is a clash between the nation who are probably the best in the world versus a nation who's fans think they are the best in the world ! "

The Damned United is very good. Michael Sheen is bang on as Cloughie. Timothy Spall is also very good as Peter Taylor trying to reign Clough in before he got totally out of control at Derby.

Timothy spall is a fine actor

 

[Very Proud (AKA Still Proud)]

Timothy spall is a fine actor

Still prefer Alison King though

 

[JadeWolf]

Still prefer Alison King though

Carla Connor from Corrie

 

[Very Proud (AKA Still Proud)]

Carla Connor from Corrie

No she'll always be Linda Block

 

[Deleted member 4382]

Still prefer Alison King though

I’d show that one handed appreciation!!!!

 

[E is for idiot.]

Still prefer Alison King though

Girl on the train in Coupling.

 

[WalsallWolf]

In order of preference;

Mike Bassett
Fever pitch
ID
Damned United

 

[WW1963]

Purely Belter is a great film

Football Factory is a **** film but it came at a time I was emersed in that world. So maybe like old mods with Quadrophenia I pick holes in it but it takes me back to a great/exciting time in my youth.

Did you bounce up and down a lot from behind police lines?

 

[Norman Bell]

Timothy spall is a fine actor

Of course Tim was Barry Taylor in Auf Wiedersehn Pet and speaks that great line that goes something like

" I always thought Kung Fu would be handy especially when surrounded by West Brom skinheads when coming out of the Molineux ! "

 

[Don Corleone]

I.D. Wasn’t too bad if I remember and the original Firm was ok.
Green Street I can’t stand tho...or Football Factory...

 

[wolvesultra]

Renford Rejects

Bruno De Gradi

 

[Deleted member 3545]

Not football well our football but the Australian film "The Club" is great

 

[Bankswolf The Third]

Apologies if anyone has mentioned this but i recommend seeking a film called next goal wins
A documentary about one of the worst football countries in the world who previously lost to Australia 31-0 trying to qualify for the 2014 world cup.

 

[wolfgar]

I watched Final Score yesterday and it was laughably bad. Obviously very little of it made any sense whatsoever, including the football itself. The story was supposedly set at the final game to take place at the Boleyn Ground. This also happened to be the semi final of a cup which could be decided on away goals (though I don't think the opposition were ever mentioned)? Huh? That just pointlessly makes no sense.

 

[RosehillWolf]

The Damned United film is nowhere near as good as the book

 

[steve vena]

There's only one Jimmy Grimble .... Great feel good movie.

 

[TurboTaco91]

That one with Bilbo Baggies as a yankie bothervboy was ****e

Frodo Baggins not Bilbo !

 

[Deleted member 4382]

Frodo Baggins not Bilbo !

Good point. My son would be horrified at such a school boy error.
Most of my posts made after 21:00 are hazed by alcohol and factually *******s!!

 

[Media Wolf Pete]

Just watching that new Sky Film, Final Score. and like all the others I can't take it at all seriously. Firstly it's set at Wet Spam, again (yawn), secondly the hero's American, just like Escape to Victory, Green Street, Goal etc, and last but not least there's thing's going on even your average steward would spot as unusual, a motorbike chase through the concourses just after half time FFS!

Green Street (with it's awful fake American ****ernee), Cass, The Firm and all the other Hoolie films are just terrible too. Only Awaydays comes anywhere close to reality.

As for the on the pitch drama's at least Escape to Victory has real footballers and legends at that, but as a rule they're just so unrealistic.

Must be like a member of the SAS watching a Black Op's type film, I just spend my time picking holes

Production company that made it, Signature Films, are owned by a West ham fan. Sullivan is an investor in them. Hence the whole West Ham links

 

[SBDJ]

The Damned United film is nowhere near as good as the book

Very few films are as good as the original book......but that's starting a whole new thread!!

 

[Norman Bell]

Not football well our football but the Australian film "The Club" is great

Love that film and one of the best sports films ever. Includes the cracking song " Up there Cazaly "

 

[Dawley wanderers]

Mike Bassett
The firm - original Gary Oldman
ID
One night in Istanbul

 

[Metal Wolf89]

I thought any given Sunday was alright!

 

[quirky_birky]

Includes the cracking song " Up there Cazaly "

Appropriated by Derby fans.

Good song though.

 

[lostwolf]

I can't watch Green Street now without thinking what the ****s Jax Teller doing running with West Ham

How about Jax as a teenage homosexual in Queer as Folk? He's definitely not one for being typecast!

 

[Timberwolf]

How about Jax as a teenage homosexual in Queer as Folk? He's definitely not one for being typecast!

Charlie Hunnam has got to be THE worst actor in showbiz! Yet he got the lead in Sons of Anarchy. The world is mad...!

 

[JadeWolf]

Charlie Hunnam has got to be THE worst actor in showbiz! Yet he got the lead in Sons of Anarchy. The world is mad...!

Very nice to look at but a terrible actor! He nearly ruined Pacific Rim for me, but Idris Elba saved it lol