Dele Alli (Not Signing)

[Sedgley Gold N Black]

Worth a watch.

 

[WKFWolf]

spoken about MH on here before and this interview is a striking reminder that players are people too, sure they are in a privileged position but this comes with pressures none of us realise, sure its not working two jobs to feed children but i cant even begin to imagine logging on to the internet and seeing slurs and abuse against my name, let alone every time i go onto a football pitch to do my job

i hope he finds the support to get through this and to be able to enjoy his life and football again

 

[SteveBullsKnee]

I think people forget at times that players are humans and not machines and when the darkness of mental health descends no amount of money helps that. I had a very bad period in my life in my mid 20s where I had a terminally ill parent at the same time as going through a very messy marriage breakdown. I was earning double I am now nearly 20 years on and the money certainly didn’t help, I was living 100 miles away from family and friends and felt very alone which I’m sure mirrors the life of a footballer in dark times, not having a support network. The difference I had was I wasn’t in the public eye with millions of people judging my performance like DA has had.

Hopefully he can get his career and more importantly his life back on an even line because from a professional point of view he’s a spectacular gifted footballer when he’s “right”

 

[WKFWolf]

I think people forget at times that players are humans and not machines and when the darkness of mental health descends no amount of money helps that. I had a very bad period in my life in my mid 20s where I had a terminally ill parent at the same time as going through a very messy marriage breakdown. I was earning double I am now nearly 20 years on and the money certainly didn’t help, I was living 100 miles away from family and friends and felt very alone which I’m sure mirrors the life of a footballer in dark times, not having a support network. The difference I had was I wasn’t in the public eye with millions of people judging my performance like DA has had.

Hopefully he can get his career and more importantly his life back on an even line because from a professional point of view he’s a spectacular gifted footballer when he’s “right”

thanks for sharing this and hope you are doing well right now.

 

[North West Wanderer]

M

I think people forget at times that players are humans and not machines and when the darkness of mental health descends no amount of money helps that. I had a very bad period in my life in my mid 20s where I had a terminally ill parent at the same time as going through a very messy marriage breakdown. I was earning double I am now nearly 20 years on and the money certainly didn’t help, I was living 100 miles away from family and friends and felt very alone which I’m sure mirrors the life of a footballer in dark times, not having a support network. The difference I had was I wasn’t in the public eye with millions of people judging my performance like DA has had.

Hopefully he can get his career and more importantly his life back on an even line because from a professional point of view he’s a spectacular gifted footballer when he’s “right”

Glad you’re doing better buddy. i had a similar experience having lived away for 15 years or so, and losing a parent in my 20s.

i’m glad people find it easier to speak out for help now, and I hope Dele can find the peace and comfort in life, and who knows get back to enjoying the game he’s so very talented at if it makes him happy.

 

[SteveBullsKnee]

thanks for sharing this and hope you are doing well right now.

My life’s very good now, but I never forget that period. I don’t know DA personal circumstances but mine helped quitting the big job and moving back to my local area and having that support network of friends and family. I altered my outlook on life after I lost my mom. I get stick on here for being overly positive (some of it is definitely justified) but that’s how I get through life, I concentrate on the positive rather than the negative. Have the last few seasons been hard? For sure but that feeling of walking down the south bank just before kick off having had a few beers with my mates, seeing the green of the pitch and seeing 11 in the old gold and black will always be a positive experience for me regardless of performance and league. It’s probably why I go OTT at the negative on here (which again is justifiable sometimes) as if wolves ever made me as miserable as it seems to make some, I’d walk away.

 

[SteveBullsKnee]

M

Glad you’re doing better buddy. i had a similar experience having lived away for 15 years or so, and losing a parent in my 20s.

i’m glad people find it easier to speak out for help now, and I hope Dele can find the peace and comfort in life, and who knows get back to enjoying the game he’s so very talented at if it makes him happy.

Having two teenage kids means I don’t have time to dwell on any dark thoughts now lol. Though in all seriousness having kids was a great leveller for me, having to think that little people needed me has always kept me very focused on the good in life.

I do think generally blokes are very poor at dealing with MH, it’s seems it’s almost a weakness if you struggle which is a shame. In general life I’m a very laid back jokey guy and I’m sure those not in my inner circle of close friends and family wouldn’t ever believe it but unfortunately it’s easier to put on a brave face than it is to confront it for a lot of people.

 

[thommo1984]

Completely shifts my perception of him. Wish him all the best and this is very brave of him.

God, I hate the tabloids, absolute scum bags.

 

[WickedWolfie]

This perhaps explains why someone who apparently had it all fell apart. Deeply sad. I hope that he gets the help that he needs and comes back better and stronger. Just proves again that no one can ever know what is going on in another person's life.

Dele Alli: Former England footballer reveals he was sexually abused aged six

Former England and Tottenham midfielder also says he entered a rehab facility for six weeks for help on addiction to sleeping tablets and excessive drinking.

news.sky.com

 

[glorybox]

spoken about MH on here before and this interview is a striking reminder that players are people too, sure they are in a privileged position but this comes with pressures none of us realise, sure its not working two jobs to feed children but i cant even begin to imagine logging on to the internet and seeing slurs and abuse against my name, let alone every time i go onto a football pitch to do my job

i hope he finds the support to get through this and to be able to enjoy his life and football again

You talk absolute **** WKFWolf, perhaps you need to go and do something else rather than post absolute ****wit bull**** on here dressed up as informed comment.

 

[WKFWolf]

You talk absolute **** WKFWolf, perhaps you need to go and do something else rather than post absolute ****wit bull**** on here dressed up as informed comment.

im glad the wink emoji worked

 

[WickedWolfie]

Completely shifts my perception of him. Wish him all the best and this is very brave of him.

God, I hate the tabloids, absolute scum bags.

While l agree with you about the tabloids they do it because sadly rather too many people want to read that sort of lurid crap (see also social media).

 

[Flump]

Hopefully he gets back on track, he's had an awful lot to get through, it's easy to see why he's struggled sometimes.

It's another example of "it's complicated" being more accurate than people's usual default of "he's lazy"/"he's got a bad attitude", but I'm sure nothing will stop people leaping to those conclusions any time soon.

 

[Netherton Wolf]

Wishing you luck in your journey DA x

 

[Very Proud (AKA Still Proud)]

The reality of this is that the media keep fueling the fire that will get them the most "likes". There are things going on in all of our heads that even our nearest and dearest will never know, we all have very different personalities but society judges everyone by a perceived set of perfect values, and the media will portray things they way the dark side in all of us craves.

Well-paid, talented young sportsmen should surely have no worries in the world, afterall they are doing a job we'd all give our right arm to do and think of all that fame and adulation. Yet a "fall from grace" is heralded with such venom and vitriol, no-one stops to consider why it could happen.

I read on here so many times about what's going on in Fabio's head, Rayan Ait-Nouri's troubles, Raul's state of mind. Not wanting to take the high ground, but I just scroll on past these posts because none of us have the slightest inkling what it's like to be in their shoes. I wish we'd just stop it!

Unfortunately that side of society that craves the downfall of others to validate our own self esteem fans the flames in the media, social media and workplace/pub gossip when we should be praising the good in people. Human nature I guess.

He's facing his inner demons and comes across as a very intelligent and thoughtful young man, I do hope he can turn this around he deserves it.

 

[WKFWolf]

The reality of this is that the media keep fueling the fire that will get them the most "likes". There are things going on in all of our heads that even our nearest and dearest will never know, we all have very different personalities but society judges everyone by a perceived set of perfect values, and the media will portray things they way the dark side in all of us craves.

Well-paid, talented young sportsmen should surely have no worries in the world, afterall they are doing a job we'd all give our right arm to do and think of all that fame and adulation. Yet a "fall from grace" is heralded with such venom and vitriol, no-one stops to consider why it could happen.

I read on here so many times about what's going on in Fabio's head, Rayan Ait-Nouri's troubles, Raul's state of mind. Not wanting to take the high ground, but I just scroll on past these posts because none of us have the slightest inkling what it's like to be in their shoes. I wish we'd just stop it!

Unfortunately that side of society that craves the downfall of others to validate our own self esteem fans the flames in the media, social media and workplace/pub gossip when we should be praising the good in people. Human nature I guess.

He's facing his inner demons and comes across as a very intelligent and thoughtful young man, I do hope he can turn this around he deserves it.

fantastic post.

 

[Flump]

Well-paid, talented young sportsmen should surely have no worries in the world, afterall they are doing a job we'd all give our right arm to do and think of all that fame and adulation.

There are thousands of things a well-paid, talented young sportsman could have to worry about

• Their health
• Their parents health
• Their relationships
• Their children, their children's health
• Tens/hundreds of thousands of people complaining about them
• Knowing that normal people will lose their jobs if they don't perform

 

[chignalwolf]

..

 

[chignalwolf]

very well put Very Proud (AKA Still Proud)

 

[Wolf316]

Having two teenage kids means I don’t have time to dwell on any dark thoughts now lol. Though in all seriousness having kids was a great leveller for me, having to think that little people needed me has always kept me very focused on the good in life.

I do think generally blokes are very poor at dealing with MH, it’s seems it’s almost a weakness if you struggle which is a shame. In general life I’m a very laid back jokey guy and I’m sure those not in my inner circle of close friends and family wouldn’t ever believe it but unfortunately it’s easier to put on a brave face than it is to confront it for a lot of people.

Doesn’t help when you’ve got ****s like Piers Morgan telling MH sufferers to Man Up.

 

[Supadavewolf]

Doesn’t help when you’ve got ****s like Piers Morgan telling MH sufferers to Man Up.

I think his surname is spelt Moron, but could be wrong.

Regardless, you're quite right Wolf316. Some 20 years ago I had what we used to term a mental breakdown, and it nearly reared it's ugly head again recently when, at a place. I volunteer, I missed correcting an error made by a colleague which will probably cost the organisation (a charity) some revenue it would otherwise have earned.

I tried to 'man up' the first time, but it was - ironically - a woman (the wife) who helped me keep some semblance of MH, reminding me what is and isn't important in life.

Supporting this lot doesn't do us any favours when we're less than 100% but at least it helps to give you a sense of perspective about things.

All the best, DA, keep looking forward and hope you get through this.

 

[TheConcourse]

Hopefully he gets back on track, he's had an awful lot to get through, it's easy to see why he's struggled sometimes.

It's another example of "it's complicated" being more accurate than people's usual default of "he's lazy"/"he's got a bad attitude", but I'm sure nothing will stop people leaping to those conclusions any time soon.

Yeah, you’re right. It’s really hard to keep that emotional reaction button in check.

I made a comment last night about RAN being overrated, totally forgetting that he’s just a young lad, probably away from family and going through personal challenges.

Some of the feedback on social - although it’s a minority - makes me sick.

“Oh, I’m sure you’re depressed with £7m in the bank.”

The guy has just sat that there and told you about pretty significant childhood trauma that shapes behaviours for a lifetime, and all people think about is money.

Turns out it’s pretty lonely driving an R8 when you’re depressed.

 

[Very Proud (AKA Still Proud)]

There are thousands of things a well-paid, talented young sportsman could have to worry about

• Their health
• Their parents health
• Their relationships
• Their children, their children's health
• Tens/hundreds of thousands of people complaining about them
• Knowing that normal people will lose their jobs if they don't perform

I know that, the line in my post you quote was intended to be ironic, how the world perceives the privileged and almost de-humanises them. They have the same worries and concerns we do and for many of them it's a short career that could implode at any time.

 

[DJLWolf]

Footballers obviously dip in and out of form all the time, but there was always something very odd about the way Dele's performance levels literally fell off a cliff.

It seemed like overnight he went from possibly the best young player in then league to someone who didn't even want to be on a football pitch and it didn't make sense.

We obviously know why now and it's a very sad story and brave of the lad to talk out.

 

[Scallywolf]

Giving that interview could be the best thing that DA has done to help resurrect his career.

Very brave and I hope it helps clear his mind and enables him to focus on football.

Excellent player at his best, but his best was a very long time ago. He is still young enough to get back to something like his best.

 

[WickedWolfie]

The reality of this is that the media keep fueling the fire that will get them the most "likes". There are things going on in all of our heads that even our nearest and dearest will never know, we all have very different personalities but society judges everyone by a perceived set of perfect values, and the media will portray things they way the dark side in all of us craves.

Well-paid, talented young sportsmen should surely have no worries in the world, afterall they are doing a job we'd all give our right arm to do and think of all that fame and adulation. Yet a "fall from grace" is heralded with such venom and vitriol, no-one stops to consider why it could happen.

I read on here so many times about what's going on in Fabio's head, Rayan Ait-Nouri's troubles, Raul's state of mind. Not wanting to take the high ground, but I just scroll on past these posts because none of us have the slightest inkling what it's like to be in their shoes. I wish we'd just stop it!

Unfortunately that side of society that craves the downfall of others to validate our own self esteem fans the flames in the media, social media and workplace/pub gossip when we should be praising the good in people. Human nature I guess.

He's facing his inner demons and comes across as a very intelligent and thoughtful young man, I do hope he can turn this around he deserves it.

TY for saying everything that l would wish to in such a thoughtful and compassionate manner.

 

[lostwolf]

There is a direct relationship between wealth and self-reported mental health, both in (typical) individuals and aggregated across populations. The reasons are multivarious, but include:
- social hierarchy issues and consequent depression (see social rank theory - we're taught that if you're doing worse it's because you're less worthy)
- stress and resultant anxiety conditions
- increased probability of trauma in poverty and resultant 'personality disorder' (developmental / attachment trauma), psychosis, depression, bipolar disorder etc etc.

However, beyond a certain point, money makes no difference and mental health plateaus. So people saying wealth makes no difference are incorrect but, on the other hand, it's wrong to assume a rich man is a happy one! DA is a survivor of trauma and adversity and is rightly now being celebrated for his bravery and having his struggles understood in context. He's not (necessarily) weak or lazy or whatever, he's the product of his environment. All power to the lad.

 

[Oldvic161]

I still hear people who know I’ve suffered with MH issues saying “just think positive” or “they aren’t serious issues”, there isn’t just one mh issue and until you experience it you can’t be aware of how anyone feels. There’s also the “man up brigade” led by piers ****house and the vile Katie hop****. I found peace in being with nicer people, even keeping away from certain family members. I still fall occasionally, putting others before myself, it’s hard when they again let you down..

 

[Kebab Warrior]

The reality of this is that the media keep fueling the fire that will get them the most "likes". There are things going on in all of our heads that even our nearest and dearest will never know, we all have very different personalities but society judges everyone by a perceived set of perfect values, and the media will portray things they way the dark side in all of us craves.

Well-paid, talented young sportsmen should surely have no worries in the world, afterall they are doing a job we'd all give our right arm to do and think of all that fame and adulation. Yet a "fall from grace" is heralded with such venom and vitriol, no-one stops to consider why it could happen.

I read on here so many times about what's going on in Fabio's head, Rayan Ait-Nouri's troubles, Raul's state of mind. Not wanting to take the high ground, but I just scroll on past these posts because none of us have the slightest inkling what it's like to be in their shoes. I wish we'd just stop it!

Unfortunately that side of society that craves the downfall of others to validate our own self esteem fans the flames in the media, social media and workplace/pub gossip when we should be praising the good in people. Human nature I guess.

He's facing his inner demons and comes across as a very intelligent and thoughtful young man, I do hope he can turn this around he deserves it.

Best post on here in a while

 

[RosehillWolf]

I think people forget at times that players are humans and not machines and when the darkness of mental health descends no amount of money helps that. I had a very bad period in my life in my mid 20s where I had a terminally ill parent at the same time as going through a very messy marriage breakdown. I was earning double I am now nearly 20 years on and the money certainly didn’t help, I was living 100 miles away from family and friends and felt very alone which I’m sure mirrors the life of a footballer in dark times, not having a support network. The difference I had was I wasn’t in the public eye with millions of people judging my performance like DA has had.

Hopefully he can get his career and more importantly his life back on an even line because from a professional point of view he’s a spectacular gifted footballer when he’s “right”

We’ve never seen eye to eye but I’m desperately sorry to hear the above. I’m also extremely glad to hear you came through it and became the person you are today. Having a terminally ill parent plus the marriage breakdown , ( which I think is also akin to bereavement) , would have been traumatic in the least. I can associate with this as I had a very affluent lifestyle , and , what I thought to be a fantastic marriage 12000 miles away. I had the rug pulled from right under my feet
So as much as you don’t like me and my views I respect you for revisiting and reassessing your life and being on here to tell us
I would gladly buy you a beer and shake your hand if ever the chance arose

 

[Monketron]

Interestingly Dele mentions his addiction to sleeping pills. There was a great read on The Athletic a few years back about footballers problems with them. He certainly isn't alone, although his reasons behind that addiction may be different.

Football's addiction to sleeping pills - 'a disease spreading quietly across the game'

The Athletic talks to people in the game about the rise in addiction to sleeping pills and the dangers of it

theathletic.com

 

[WickedWolfie]

We’ve never seen eye to eye but I’m desperately sorry to hear the above. I’m also extremely glad to hear you came through it and became the person you are today. Having a terminally ill parent plus the marriage breakdown , ( which I think is also akin to bereavement) , would have been traumatic in the least. I can associate with this as I had a very affluent lifestyle , and , what I thought to be a fantastic marriage 12000 miles away. I had the rug pulled from right under my feet
So as much as you don’t like me and my views I respect you for revisiting and reassessing your life and being on here to tell us
I would gladly buy you a beer and shake your hand if ever the chance arose

Respect to you for that post. It's great to see to see that at heart most Mixers are decent human beings.

 

[The Wolf In The North]

I've been working in a doctor's surgery for the past six months, and the regimented distribution and usage of certain prescription drugs is staggering. The 'care' industry doesn't have the time, money or personnel to deal with the cause of patient problems, physical or mental, so it's all 'managed' with magic pills.

Have some aches and pains? Feel a bit stressed and can't fall asleep easily? Here, have some zapain or naproxen or tramadol or zopiclone or diazepam, sometimes a combination. And they're all addictive, and it's pretty easy to get more if you tell the doctor they're 'helping'.

It's truly frightening how prescription medication is up there with alcohol and nicotene, and it doesn't surprise me in the slightest how they're encouraged and thus become a staple for young athletes.

 

[crocos]

I just read the piece on the BBC site about this - hard to be not only very moved by that, but also feel that familiar dismay at how so many of us humans seem to have the urge to relentlessly judge folk when we know FA about what they're going through in their lives.

Hats off to him and best wishes to him for moving forwards; takes guts to do what he's done and then talk about it publicly.

Ditto to those who've talked about their own stuff on this thread.

 

[Adrian_Monk]

Agree that this could be the best thing for his career. It's a miracle he did as well as he did for as long as he did without it catching up with him sooner. Fingers crossed he gets the help he needs and can get through this the best he can.

Also has my sympathy regarding the sleeping pills. I broke my leg and ended up having operations on both knees in my thirties - was very quickly prescribed diazepam and ten years later I was still struggling to get off it.

 

[SilverstoneWolf]

So pleased to read all these messages of support; seems to be universal and not a single negative post. Hope the lad gets life (and career??) back on some sort of track.

 

[GoldenHorseshoe]

I read that Dele Alli was abused as a child including sexual abuse at age 6. This is among the most horrific of crimes, the damage of which lasts years, decades and may never be undone.

I don't know if anyone remembers the documentary series, the first one was called seven up, it followed a group of youngsters aged 7 and followed them every 7 years. The premise being, "give me the boy for 7 years and I will give you the man."
The first years in a child's life is critical in the development.

 

[SteveBullsKnee]

We’ve never seen eye to eye but I’m desperately sorry to hear the above. I’m also extremely glad to hear you came through it and became the person you are today. Having a terminally ill parent plus the marriage breakdown , ( which I think is also akin to bereavement) , would have been traumatic in the least. I can associate with this as I had a very affluent lifestyle , and , what I thought to be a fantastic marriage 12000 miles away. I had the rug pulled from right under my feet
So as much as you don’t like me and my views I respect you for revisiting and reassessing your life and being on here to tell us
I would gladly buy you a beer and shake your hand if ever the chance arose

I don’t dislike you, I don’t know you to do that. I dislike some levels of (in my eyes) constant negativity but again that might be more about me and my need to see the positive in things. It’s the whole “glass half full” bit. You see a fire sale, I see the opportunity for a much needed clear out and reset. Ultimately (I hope!) we both want the wolves to be as successful as they can and in my 40 years of going Fosun have delivered the best of times, on the whole with the best set of players so for now they have my trust.

I’d happily meet you for a beer and shake your hand, we’re wolves fans after all.

 

[JOSWolf]

Fair play to Dele Ali for speaking out. I have suffered with depression and anxiety for years now and I am on long term medication for it. I have periods where it can affect me quite badly and I cant get out of bed for days and I had to quit my previous job as a result and change my line of work completely but luckily nothing too bad for over a year now. No one should ever feel weak for speaking out. It is the best thing you can do in my opinion.

 

[SteveBullsKnee]

Fair play to Dele Ali for speaking out. I have suffered with depression and anxiety for years now and I am on long term medication for it. I have periods where it can affect me quite badly and I cant get out of bed for days and I had to quit my previous job as a result and change my line of work completely but luckily nothing too bad for over a year now. No one should ever feel weak for speaking out. It is the best thing you can do in my opinion.

Sorry to hear that mate, we might clash on here but that’s different to the “real” world. Recognising and then trying to deal with issues is the first step for sure.

Personally I think the big thing to recognise is we’re all different and all deal with things differently and have different pressure points. I’m as laid back as you can find, I drive the folk round me crazy with it but it’s a coping mechanism for me because as soon as I start feeling a little bit of genuine stress it’s snowballs rapidly. Things that bothered me 20 years ago don’t even register now. Mid 20s I was something like wolf of Wall Street, I was obsessed by money and my job and the stress was immense. Now I’ve got a very busy job and work very long hours but genuinely when the laptop is turned off I don’t think about it until the next day. The pace of life can affect MH, leaving the rat race of working in the city calmed me in days