T
Tom Ward
Guest
As February ticked over into March, the Premier League’s bottom half steeled itself for the most intriguing relegation battle in the competition’s history. 12th and 19th in the division were separated by just six points, a smorgasbord of underperforming players, newly-arrived firefighter managers and clubs whose preseason plans had been proven to be misguided.
This was largely viewed as a compliment to England’s top flight, or at least “A Good Thing” for our enjoyment of this season. The final three months of the season would be a shootout and nobody was yet cut adrift. Even Southampton, rock bottom on 18 points and onto their third manager of the season, were headed for 29 points. In 2020-21, 29 points was enough to survive the drop.
The suspicion then was that these clubs would push each other and, probably, all beat each other to nudge up the required points target like never before. Most clubs in the bottom half were terrible at scoring goals (seven of the nine were averaging less than a goal scored per game), but it didn’t seem to matter. People spoke of needing 40 points, which they always do despite no team ever needing 40 points anymore.
Some clubs answered that call to arms. Julen Lopetegui’s Wolves are inconsistent and occasionally shambolic, but they are now safe. Crystal Palace dialled up Ol’ Trusty and Roy Hodgson has them way above midseason expectations. Bournemouth and Gary O’Neil are the blueprints, a club that worked towards a sensible strategy in January and a manager who has embarrassed those coaches now below him.
For the rest, a sea of nothing and nobodies. This is no rush for 40 points or the finish line; it is a dawdle by a group of grim faces and slim chances. The current bottom four clubs have won one of their last 20 combined matches (Nottingham Forest’s home win over Brighton). On 6 February, Leeds sacked their manager because they were only outside the bottom three on goal difference. They have since sacked another manager, set a new record for goals conceded in a calendar month and are still outside the bottom three on goal difference.
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Where once there was confidence, now only resignation. Hope, that cruel ******* who gives with one hand while picking your pocket with the other, is quickly being extinguished too. The one thing that defines every one of the bottom five clubs is the response of supporters on social media to every full-time whistle: “It’s over. We are done.”
The characteristics of this hapless quintet are best viewed in the games between each other. At Elland Road, when Leeds faced Leicester, both teams played at two different gears: too fast and too slow. When their chaos mode (deliberate or otherwise) causes self-inflicted wounds, they fall into their shell and invite trouble. When Leicester drew with Everton on Monday evening, defensive resolve was abandoned. Sean Dyche was appointed to make Everton more solid, but it hasn’t worked – his team have conceded two or more goals in eight of their last 11 games.
In that second draw, another trait emerges: these five teams are dreadful at holding onto leads. Forest are the worst, having scored first in more league games this season than Liverpool and yet only won six of them. But four of the bottom five are collecting points at a rate of less than 1.5 per game even when they score the first goal. Their matches become crap shoots (with the second word silent).
With four matches to go, your guess is as good as mine is as good as anyone else’s. Leeds have called up Sam Allardyce, Karl Robinson and Robbie Keane, a combination so utterly bizarre that you cannot be sure that it won’t work. We assumed that Dyche would improve Everton, but they haven’t won in seven. Leicester were the guarantees to get out of trouble, but they have just failed to beat two of the four teams below them.
This should make nobody feel proud of themselves. The Premier League’s bottom five began this season with ambitions of recovery, redemption and rejuvenation. They spent north of £500m on transfer fees and yet their flaws remain exposed. Leeds and Southampton have had three managers each. Forest have had three sporting directors. Everton are paying for past chaos, Leicester for past narcolepsy. At least one club is going to stay up and not deserve it.
Continue reading...
This was largely viewed as a compliment to England’s top flight, or at least “A Good Thing” for our enjoyment of this season. The final three months of the season would be a shootout and nobody was yet cut adrift. Even Southampton, rock bottom on 18 points and onto their third manager of the season, were headed for 29 points. In 2020-21, 29 points was enough to survive the drop.
The suspicion then was that these clubs would push each other and, probably, all beat each other to nudge up the required points target like never before. Most clubs in the bottom half were terrible at scoring goals (seven of the nine were averaging less than a goal scored per game), but it didn’t seem to matter. People spoke of needing 40 points, which they always do despite no team ever needing 40 points anymore.
Some clubs answered that call to arms. Julen Lopetegui’s Wolves are inconsistent and occasionally shambolic, but they are now safe. Crystal Palace dialled up Ol’ Trusty and Roy Hodgson has them way above midseason expectations. Bournemouth and Gary O’Neil are the blueprints, a club that worked towards a sensible strategy in January and a manager who has embarrassed those coaches now below him.
For the rest, a sea of nothing and nobodies. This is no rush for 40 points or the finish line; it is a dawdle by a group of grim faces and slim chances. The current bottom four clubs have won one of their last 20 combined matches (Nottingham Forest’s home win over Brighton). On 6 February, Leeds sacked their manager because they were only outside the bottom three on goal difference. They have since sacked another manager, set a new record for goals conceded in a calendar month and are still outside the bottom three on goal difference.
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Where once there was confidence, now only resignation. Hope, that cruel ******* who gives with one hand while picking your pocket with the other, is quickly being extinguished too. The one thing that defines every one of the bottom five clubs is the response of supporters on social media to every full-time whistle: “It’s over. We are done.”
The characteristics of this hapless quintet are best viewed in the games between each other. At Elland Road, when Leeds faced Leicester, both teams played at two different gears: too fast and too slow. When their chaos mode (deliberate or otherwise) causes self-inflicted wounds, they fall into their shell and invite trouble. When Leicester drew with Everton on Monday evening, defensive resolve was abandoned. Sean Dyche was appointed to make Everton more solid, but it hasn’t worked – his team have conceded two or more goals in eight of their last 11 games.
In that second draw, another trait emerges: these five teams are dreadful at holding onto leads. Forest are the worst, having scored first in more league games this season than Liverpool and yet only won six of them. But four of the bottom five are collecting points at a rate of less than 1.5 per game even when they score the first goal. Their matches become crap shoots (with the second word silent).
With four matches to go, your guess is as good as mine is as good as anyone else’s. Leeds have called up Sam Allardyce, Karl Robinson and Robbie Keane, a combination so utterly bizarre that you cannot be sure that it won’t work. We assumed that Dyche would improve Everton, but they haven’t won in seven. Leicester were the guarantees to get out of trouble, but they have just failed to beat two of the four teams below them.
This should make nobody feel proud of themselves. The Premier League’s bottom five began this season with ambitions of recovery, redemption and rejuvenation. They spent north of £500m on transfer fees and yet their flaws remain exposed. Leeds and Southampton have had three managers each. Forest have had three sporting directors. Everton are paying for past chaos, Leicester for past narcolepsy. At least one club is going to stay up and not deserve it.
Continue reading...