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Will Jorge Mendes Pull us a few Rabbits Out of his Hat?

The Wolf In The North

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No, he's given up on us. We're never signing anybody else ever again.

Laurie Dalrymple sodded off to some rugby thing and no longer buys the fans pints.

Kevin Thelwell has spent most of lockdown perfecting his New York accent by shouting 'Hey Tony, **** you' to any passers by at the top of his voice.

Jonny's leg has fallen off. A deliberate act of self mutilation. I think he might have Munchausen's.

Doherty was forced out by Jeff and Jorge, Nuno didn't have a say but he's not really ***** anyway.

Nuno is refusing to sign his contract.

Willy Boly too.

Serge Aurier refused to join us because we're not big enough for him to showcase his talents.

Ainsley Maitland-Wotsit loves Arsenal and not us.

Ruben Neves and his missus are having another baby so he won't have time to play glorious pinpoint 60 yards passes. Plus we'll probably sell him to Sheffield United for £6.20.

Diogo Jota's and his partner are also sprog farming, he won't have the energy to run onto any of those passes, plus he only does 25% of the time or when he's lucky enough to shin one in. I expect we'll sell him to Arsenal for £4.25 and a half eaten bag of Minstrels.

Daniel Podence has proposed to his missus so he'll be too busy reigning in Bridezilla and worrying about seating plans or trying to book a DJ. We'll probably flog him to Everton for a pan of Scouse and some spare 1989 Ford Orion alloy wheels anyway.

Jimenez's missus has already dropped her sprog which coincided with him missing a penalty so his heads gone already along with any talent he did have. He's probably sulking about not going to Juve/Manchester United/Anybody else that may have pipped us to a European spot. Don't worry Raul I hear Burnley are after you but Chris Wood has turned us down again so I'm not sure it's going to happen for you lad.

Tim Spiers has ****ed off on holiday so there's nobody in the Twitterverse to break transfer news/deny all rumours no matter what the truth is.

Robert Plant has launched his new Scooch tribute band and will be playing live to nobody at half time because we're never getting back into the stadium Fosun are refusing to rebuild.

Jeff Shi is regretting trying to suggest we have a light blue away kit by trying to colour the white one proposed by Adidas in using Microsoft Paint. Nobody worry though because we've got Jako lined up to make next years.

The Chinese Government have told Fosun to stop ****ing about with English football teams because that floppy haired ignoramus who calls himself Prime Minister told Huawei to **** off as soon as the cheque from his brown envelope cleared.

All the important people have knobbed off to Zurich to nurture some Grasshoppers leaving Jeff to do it all on his lonesome but he's too busy playing Candy Crush to notice that he's the only one logged into Microsoft Teams.

I think that's it.

We're ****ing doomed. Doomed I tell ya.

This is like an episode of David Mitchell's Unbelievable Truth where a speaker has to hide as many truths as possible amidst nonsense and jokes. The Microsoft Paint kit one is definitely factual.
 

Matt

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I’ve always been sceptical of the “Mendes doing X a favour” thing, but it’s the only way I can get my head around the fee for the Doc transfer. Really hope he has a few lined up for us.
 

Wolf316

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Yes of course, because Joao Moutinho just couldn't wait to swap Monaco for the West Midlands.

Christ on a bike
Ooh I am sorry I missed one favour. Maybe you’d like to tell us all the others he’s done?
 

JimB

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Has anyone thought that maybe we don’t really need to sign anyone?

This isn’t Nuno’s first rodeo.

I say stop panicking and let the man do his thing.
 

lets all have a disco

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Yes of course, because Joao Moutinho just couldn't wait to swap Monaco for the West Midlands.

Christ on a bike
No nor did he try and get us patricio on for a free but was still a bargin at 16m...podence, neto, Raul on loan with view to signing... Even got Ath Madrid to sign jonny for us and loan him to us so we could hide our figures on the balance sheet for a season.... He hasn't done a lot for us really....
 
D

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Has anyone thought that maybe we don’t really need to sign anyone?

This isn’t Nuno’s first rodeo.

I say stop panicking and let the man do his thing.
Who’s going to be playing RWB that’s not a forward player?
 

Wolf316

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No nor did he try and get us patricio on for a free but was still a bargin at 16m...podence, neto, Raul on loan with view to signing... Even got Ath Madrid to sign jonny for us and loan him to us so we could hide our figures on the balance sheet for a season.... He hasn't done a lot for us really....
Podence was playing in the Greek league so coming to the Prem was a massive step up. Raul was a sub at Benfica. Neto had played 5 times for Lazio. Jonny was wanted by Atleti for a couple of seasons they loaned him to us after purchase as they couldn’t afford his wages they the sold him to fund the Moratta. We didn’t get Rui on a free and were never going to.
 

lets all have a disco

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Podence was playing in the Greek league so coming to the Prem was a massive step up. Raul was a sub at Benfica. Neto had played 5 times for Lazio. Jonny was wanted by Atleti for a couple of seasons they loaned him to us after purchase as they couldn’t afford his wages they the sold him to fund the Moratta. We didn’t get Rui on a free and were never going to.
Yes but they was all good deals for us... All constructed with the help of Jorge....
 

Wolf316

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Yes but they was all good deals for us... All constructed with the help of Jorge....
They were good deals but I think we were expecting a level above with Jorges help. None of those players are really out of the ordinary for a premier league side.
 

lets all have a disco

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Not really considering the level of player we got in the championship.
They have got us to two consecutive 7th placed finishes....and certainly was a better bunch of players than what Fulham ended up with when they the got promoted and what our neighbours ended up with last season.. And we would arguably make a big profit on all of them...
 
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Stoichkov

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They were good deals but I think we were expecting a level above with Jorges help. None of those players are really out of the ordinary for a premier league side.

Think you’re fighting a losing battle here. Nonetheless for a team in its third season in the Prem, are we aiming at 15m players or 30 or 40?

That’s not sounding greedy, just interesting to see Leeds’ spending
 

UncleJorge

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Ooh I am sorry I missed one favour. Maybe you’d like to tell us all the others he’s done?
- Patricio
- Jonny - no one seems to have noticed he had Athletico buy him for us for help defer Payment for FFP
 

inaglasshouse

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I'm sure he will continue to work for all parties to ensure we all continue to progress.
 

Wolf316

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- Patricio
- Jonny - no one seems to have noticed he had Athletico buy him for us for help defer Payment for FFP
Where is that ridiculous Jonny story coming from? So instead of us loaning Jim from Celta and then buying him we got Atleti to buy him and then bought him from them?
 

Wswolf

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No.

Every 2-3 years he finds a new club where he pushes players to. Valencia before us prob thought the same look at them now. If anything itll be players from us to another team
 

Stoichkov

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No.

Every 2-3 years he finds a new club where he pushes players to. Valencia before us prob thought the same look at them now. If anything itll be players from us to another team

I suspect that next club is Spurs and he is probably very excited by the prospect, the biggest yet
 

Miniwolf

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Where is that ridiculous Jonny story coming from? So instead of us loaning Jim from Celta and then buying him we got Atleti to buy him and then bought him from them?

Athletico Madrid bought him in summer 2018 and loaned him straight out to us, we then bought him in the January. Have no idea if it was planned or we got Athletico to do it as some kind of favour.
 

Jay Jay de Wolf

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whoever Nuno decides to play there.
Maybe one of the wing backs he’s already got.

Lets hope this is true from the E&S regarding the wing backs problem situation..
Doherty is understood to have wanted a fresh challenge – while another thing perhaps worth considering is that Jorge Mendes is his agent.
Whichever way you look at it, though, Wolves must be confident that it’s enough to make the required reinforcements.
They are now without both of the first-choice wing-backs of the past two seasons, with Jonny Castro Otto set to spend months on the sidelines with a knee injury.

So, they must be confident about getting fresh faces in soon.
 

wwbug

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Every successful business I have known has been pro-active. This looks like the time to be proactive as we were in 2017-2018 .
That does not mean leaving it until all the competition have chosen and with Wolves picking up the left overs. That is passive.
At the moment I just cant see who and how we are finding players that we want and need. 2017-2018 had Mendes written all over it.
Our subs bench is so weak Nuno doesnt use them . So by 1st November we will find out what the heck is happening.
I really did expect one or two well planned signings by now. Not spectacular but along the lines of Dedoncker, Jota or Jonny .
Or at least good quality bench warmers that can be used when needed.
 
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D

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Its a bank holiday, the sun is shining - yet the same depressing pant wetting doom & gloom being posted - FFS have a day off - smoke some weed, have some beers or whatever. Let Jorge do what he does - no-one on here has any idea what he or Wolves are planning
 

Jay Jay de Wolf

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If not Mendes and Nuno who is identifying and going to buy our new players ?
True yes but they both have a massive connections /relationship with a vast amount of clubs and players around Europe especially Portugal..
That's why our manager and a lot of our squad are Portuguese ;)
 

wwbug

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True yes but they both have a massive connections /relationship with a vast amount of clubs and players around Europe especially Portugal..
That's why our manager and a lot of our squad are Portuguese ;)
I know it’s great . Let’s hope it works this window
 

WolfWarrior

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On the contrary, he's apparently one of the better super agents, who is very well regarded by his clients for how he looks after them and their families

perhaps this will not fit your agenda though
From my Portuguese friends Mendes is bedevilled in some quarters but in other quarters admired and respected, even begrudgingly by his detractors, for what he has done to raise the country’s profile and generate huge revenues for one of Europe’s poorest western developed economies. Generally he’s also considered among the best, if not the, for his management of players.
 

Jay Jay de Wolf

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From my Portuguese friends Mendes is bedevilled in some quarters but in other quarters admired and respected, even begrudgingly by his detractors, for what he has done to raise the country’s profile and generate huge revenues for one of Europe’s poorest western developed economies. Generally he’s also considered among the best, if not the, for his management of players.
Great post!
Plus think about it.. Do you think WWFC in the time Mendes has been linked with us. Would we have achieved all what we have done these passed few seasons without his help?
 

WolfWarrior

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Great post!
Plus think about it.. Do you think WWFC in the time Mendes has been linked with us. Would we have achieved all what we have done these passed few seasons without his help?
I think people forgot when you have Mendes it’s not just his address book, access to any board room in world football but also a huge back room team of skilled analysts, scouts, recruiters and negotiators. The image, so wrong, is of this cool poker playing agent who is a brilliant deal maker but there is a reason more agents will more willingly work with him rather than other super agents such as Raiola, Zahavi and Jooraiban.

In answer to your specific question - no way they would have come.
 

WickedWolfie

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No.

Every 2-3 years he finds a new club where he pushes players to. Valencia before us prob thought the same look at them now. If anything itll be players from us to another team
... and the multi-billionaire Guo who founded and then built Fosun into the company it is today, and happens to own 15% of Gestifute, will just bend over and say "hello big boy" as he gets screwed.. yeah, right!
 

Stoichkov

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Athletico Madrid bought him in summer 2018 and loaned him straight out to us, we then bought him in the January. Have no idea if it was planned or we got Athletico to do it as some kind of favour.

It was all kosher - they bought him to take over from their first choice right back but he was too good to sit on the bench all season, if that makes sense. So Jorge did his stuff and he got gametime as Atleti wanted

He was definitely going back but of course fell in love with Tettenhall Pool
 
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